Losing a spouse, parent, or other close relation is difficult and disconcerting. Every week, our office takes calls from grieving survivors eager to know the process and timeline for settling an estate. This article explores what needs to happen in the first two weeks after someone dies. Although many think the lawyer is the first call to make, in reality, the law office does not really get involved until about fourteen days after a death.
What to Do Immediately
Immediately after a loved one dies, you need to be sure to take care of yourself. Take a moment to process your grief and acclimate to your situation. Reach out to a neighbor, friend or family member for support.
Your first task is to get a declaration of death. When a person dies in a hospital or continuing care facility, a physician in that facility will make that determination. The next-of-kin or a person designated under a Health Care Power of Attorney will need to sign a form with the facility that releases the remains to a funeral home.
When a person dies at home, you should call the hospice nurse if one has been assigned. If not, call 911 and the emergency squad will make the determination of death. If the deceased signed a ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ order, be sure to have a copy handy when the Emergency Medical Technicians arrive. Once the death has been determined, the next step is to call the funeral home.
The Role of the Funeral Home
The first task in estate administration is often to plan the funeral or memorial service. The funeral home plays a crucial role in making arrangements, coordinating the funeral service and burial, and producing the death certificates. The funeral home will notify the Social Security Administration of the death. Later, anyone entitled to survivor benefits will need to go to a Social Security office to claim those benefits.
Alternatively, some clients have made arrangements with cremation societies. If your loved one made such an arrangement, the advice here is still sound, just substitute in the cremation society in places where I have referenced the funeral home.
Locate any burial wishes your loved one left behind- these can relate to hymns, readings, pallbearers, burial wishes, and sometimes a wish for a simple service or no service.
If the deceased was an active member of a religious group, reach out to that community and they will help plan the funeral. If the deceased was not part of a local religious community and wants a religious ceremony, the funeral home will take point on finding clergy and musicians for the service.
Paying for the funeral can be a short-term cash-flow issue and a long-term solvency issue. Determine what the budget is for the funeral and who will who will pay for the services or front the funds for later reimbursement. Veterans who meet specific VA eligibility requirements are entitled to VA burial benefits and some fraternal organizations have burial benefits.
Planning a funeral service, wake, and reception can be daunting- like planning a wedding with a few days’ notice. Enlist friends and family and accept their help. Have someone help track gifts and flowers so you can thank the donors later if you wish.
Writing an obituary for the deceased can be cathartic. You may want to prepare it yourself or delegate the task to a close friend who is gifted in prose.
Securing Property
The adage is that things ‘grow legs and walk off’ around a funeral. Grieving and/or opportunistic family members and friends sometimes enter a residence to take things they want, things that they think they are entitled to, and things that they think they deserve. More than once I have received a call from a widow/widower who returned from a funeral to find the bedroom set missing because the step-kids had already taken it. The easiest solution is to change the locks as soon as possible or add some other level of security. Having someone stay in the house will increase security and keep the property insurable as insurers hate covering a vacant home.
You will also want to locate the wallet/purse and cell phone and keep them somewhere safe. In this age of double-factor identification, the phone is particularly important as passwords alone won’t open accounts on other devices. Securing car keys is not as important as the car is easily tracked and cannot be easily re-titled or sold without the proper documentation.
In the two weeks between a death and the initial legal meeting, keep an eye on the incoming mail for important papers. You will not be able to fill out a mail forwarding order until you have the proper authorization. Watch out for and compile the following incoming correspondence:
a. Bank and brokerage statements
b. Life insurance and IRAs
c. Social Security, pensions, Veterans Affairs benefits
Utilities and other bills can wait. You should not use your personal funds to cover the debts of the estate and you won’t have the legal authority to use estate assets until after you meet with the attorney. If a creditor pressures you, tell them of the death and that the estate will pay later when it is able - extensions are given freely to estates.
Look for information and papers you will need for the estate administration:
a. Look for the original will and/or Trust. Our firm’s documents are kept in blue binders with ‘JOHNSON, GASINK & BAXTER LLP’ clearly embossed on the spine
b. Identify the lawyer and financial/tax advisors
c. Locate insurance policies and deeds
d. If the deceased was a veteran, find the DD-214 form
Slow down. Many survivors manage grief by trying to do everything at once. Do not go to court, sign legal releases, or pay heirs before talking to your attorney. You do not need to notify the bank or any credit agency of the death until you meet with the attorney.
Initial Meeting with the Lawyer to Begin the Formal Administration
About two weeks after the death, the person named executor or trustee will have their initial meeting with the estate attorney. If no one is designated to manage the estate, whichever family member(s) who intends to administer the estate should attend the meeting. In that meeting, the attorney will ask questions about the type of assets, their value and any beneficiary designations. Estates take many routes and each one is different. Without taking the time to review the real estate, accounts, and other property, the attorney cannot give good advice on the general process or a specific next step.
Although television shows often feature a dramatic scene in which the attorney reads the will to the family, no such ceremony happens in real life. Beneficiaries and legal heirs will be notified by the trustee/executor, and others will not be given any information on the estate documents.
How Can I Make This Easier for My Family?
To make things easier for your executor or trustee, here are a few simple steps:
- Execute a Will or Trust plan and make sure it is up-to-date and consistent with your wishes
- Organize your important papers (JGB binders have a ‘personal information’ section to help you organize this information):
a. Will/trust,
b. Vital records, like marriage and birth certificates,
c. Insurance policies
d. Bank and brokerage and stock statements
e. Passwords for your computer and phone (or where to find them)
f. Tax records
g. List of advisors
h. DD-214 and pension information, if applicable - Tell your executor/trustee where to find these papers
After the initial meeting, the estate administration begins in earnest. Prepare for a steady process of paperwork punctuated by long waits. A Trust estate is usually settled within a year. A Probate typically takes 18 months to three years. Lots of things cause delays that can slow the process well beyond those ranges. Again, you should be sure you have an estate plan and verify that it is up to date to make things quicker and easier for your heirs. Don’t hesitate to call us to make an estate plan, check-up on your estate plan or to help administer the estate of a loved one.
About the Author:
Dan lives in Williamsburg with his wife, Ginny, their children, and their black labrador. Moving around much in early years, his family settled in Northern Virginia where he attended high school. At William and Mary, he majored in history, minored in religion, and received a teaching certificate. Upon graduating, he taught high school social studies in Hampton before returning to William and Mary for a law degree. He practiced Estate Planning law in the Washington D.C. metropolitan area until he married his wife Ginny in 2005 and they soon returned to Williamsburg. Dan has been in private practice in Williamsburg since that move and enjoys speaking as an Estate Planning expert. His hobbies include playing music, paddling a canoe or kayak, and being a Scout leader.